


All The Sunny Days To Follow

by Nihonkikuasa211



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Spoilers, Tag to 1x15, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 15:04:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6709741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihonkikuasa211/pseuds/Nihonkikuasa211
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malaya wouldn’t forget what she had experienced. There would still be times when she would wake to a forbidden feeling in her stomach, and a pang of real fear and tightening of the chest as a patient with the same wounds she had experienced came into Angles. But it was okay. How did Malaya cope after the aftermath of her violent encounter with Gordon?</p>
            </blockquote>





	All The Sunny Days To Follow

**Author's Note:**

> This will not make any sense if you have not seen 1x15 or 1x18.

_All The Sunny Days to Follow_

Malaya could sometimes still remember the screams that tore from her throat as she woke up from a nightmare. The feeling of being trapped, incapable of breathing as Gordon continued to beat her. There were times when Malaya simply couldn’t fall asleep. During those nights, she would always think back to the moment that she had tried to be polite to Gordon, the one man who had caused her, and so many others, so much pain. Although Jesse had stated that Malaya shouldn’t think about what happened, there were many times that she did. The sound of her pants ripping, and the knife cutting across her abdomen always made the resident want to crawl into a ball and never wake up.

              It had been hard going back to work after a month of leave. The injuries she sustained were relatively easy to heal – compared to the horrific wounds she had seen in Center Stage – but it was her mind that required the most care. There were times that Malaya felt that she was losing her mind from fear, irrational fear that crept up when she least expected it. She didn’t tell anyone. Not even Jesse or Angus, who were probably the closest friends she had made at Angels so far. The first year resident couldn’t make anyone worry about her anymore.

              There were times when Malaya remembered of when she had almost walked away from a procedure, Angus’ older brother calling her back from his words, calm and assured that she would come back. Malaya hadn’t felt more helpless after that moment. Even when Carla had died, with her tiny son fighting in his first hours of life, Malaya hadn’t felt more hopeless as she almost slid onto the floor and started to cry. _Sometimes it’s like my life isn’t mine anymore,_ Malaya had thought as tears started to run down her cheeks. _Like…it belongs to_ him. Her chest indirectly tightened at the thought of Gordon.

              Christa had found her there, still holding her knees with a faint far-away look in her eyes with grief. The older resident didn’t say anything as the younger watched her warily. A knowing, almost wise look appeared in the blond’s gaze.

              “You’ll be okay, Malaya.” Christa’s voice was gentle, almost motherly as she stared at the dark-haired resident who still had tears coming from her cheeks. It occurred to Malaya then that Christa had been a mother once – a mother to a child who had died a cancer. Perhaps looking at a lost and broken person reminded Christa of her former self. “You’re stronger than you think,” the fellow resident repeated as Malaya started to calm and slowly, nodded.

              It had been six months since the attack. Malaya attempted to hide the feeling that she had – a sense of distance that she couldn’t truly describe. Her dark-brown eyes could almost feel the question in Christa’s eyes as she scanned her face. _Still worrying about me,_ Malaya thought with faint fondness. _Still pushing aside your own hurts even though you’re in pain yourself._ The resident had heard that Christa had broken up with Neal. It was a pain that Malaya suspected ran deeper than either parties would admit, although the dark-haired resident knew better than to tell her friend those words. _She’ll understand her feelings when she is ready,_ Malaya thought as she watched a hint of pain enter Christa as she watched Neal walk by the nurses’ station. A part of her almost smiled, having known what kind of person the kind British doctor was even after only knowing him through the stories Christa told her. _And Neal…I think he already knows_ what _his feelings are. He just has to act on them._

Despite her attempts to talk to Angus, the male resident appeared subdued and reluctant to share what was going on in his mind. Malaya had looked concerned at her friend, but she had been unable to do anything when Mario appeared from behind her and asked her if he could talk to Angus. It seemed that the other resident’s voice had an effect on Angus, who appeared to look relieved and Malaya almost thought she saw a small smile forming when she watched her friend walk with the person who could apparently understand him.

              What did she not know about Angus? Malaya knew that he had been haunted by the death of Gordon. She had heard of how the lighter-haired resident had tried to do CPR and put pressure on the wound that had killed Gordon at the same time. Malaya swallowed as she remembered the feeling of almost-emptiness when, as her head lied against Angus’ shoulder, the resident had told her that it was over. Gordon was dead.

              Except it wasn’t over.

              The nightmares and trauma were evidence enough that it wasn’t over with the death of one man.

              Six months after the events that had changed her life, Malaya wondered if she hated Gordon. The answer came almost instantly.

              No, she didn’t hate him.

             Although some would, Malaya wasn’t capable of hating him. He was simply a man who didn’t get what he wanted, and used the easiest way possible to get it: violence. There were…far greater traumas in the world than what she had experienced, Malaya had thought. When she had prepared herself to come out to her parents, she had been terrified. She would never be able to comprehend it if they rejected her, threw her out of the home they had lived together with the bonds of love she had thought were irreplaceable, and discarded. There were so many who hadn’t experienced what Malaya had, and she was forever grateful. Gordon’s reaction had destroyed whatever goodness he still had in him. There were times when Malaya forget that the reason why Gordon had been in the ER in the first place was saving a pedestrian from a texting driver. Perhaps not hating Gordon was a sign that Malaya was finally moving on.

          Malaya remembered then, of what Jesse had told her shortly before she was discharged from the hospital.

_“Sunny days will come, Malaya. Soon the rain will go away and the clouds will clear, and all you will see is the sky with a promise of a sunny day.”_

         The nurse’s face was kind and gentle, and he pretended not to notice the heavy emotion in Malaya’s eyes as she hugged the man who had told her that he loved her.

_I think sunny days will come now, Jesse._

         Malaya wouldn’t forget what she had experienced. There would still be times when she would wake to a forbidden feeling in her stomach, and a pang of real fear and tightening of the chest as a patient with the same wounds she had experienced came into Angles.

         But it was okay.

         For Malaya believed that all the sunny days to follow would outshine those ones.


End file.
